On the heels on Women’s Day 2020, let’s talk about about unleashing your true, authentic self, out into the world! How you can be yourself and be happy.
This episode focuses on shunning patriarchal norms and beauty standards, embracing the freedom to be ourselves and holding space for other women to do the same.
I share how prioritising my personal comfort lead to confidence and joy, and how this thought process can impact other areas of our lives.
I can’t wait for you to listen to this episode of The Feel Good Factor and share your thoughts with me.
“When we let our authentic, true selves shine out in to the world, we give others permission to do the same. We create an inspiration for them to feel safe, to shine their true selves out into the world too.”Susmitha Veganosaurus – The Feel Good Factor
Transcript (edited for better reading experience)
Hello, darlings, welcome back to The Feel Good Factor. I’m Susmitha Veganosaurus, and I’m so glad you could join me today.
Last year on women’s day, I’d posted a collage of pictures on Instagram. The pictures represented different sides of me. There was one in which I was wearing a sari and had long hair, and there was another where I was sporting my mohawk. Then one in which I’m wearing my chef coat, another picture which represents me embracing my inner child. Along with the picture, I’d written this.
“Question the stereotypes. Ditch the social norms. Be a leader, be a child, connect With your inner goddess, unleash your hidden devil. You are not just one thing, and you’re most definitely not what others limited perceptions deem you to be. To all the wonderful women out there, here’s to you exploring your limitlessness. You can be who ever you want to be. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.”
Today’s episode is all about you being you. About embracing your authentic true self and unleashing it out into the world.
I was in college when I attempted wearing heels for the first time. I thought I needed to wear them because I thought that I was required to be taller to feel more confident, more beautiful. Exactly the opposite happened. Whenever I tried walking in heels, I’d either twist my ankle, or there would be a lot of extremely awkward walking.
Instead of being confident, my whole focus went on trying to stay balanced, trying to work straight. I couldn’t think of anything except the heels on my feet and how to make sure I walked well in them. After a few attempts, I’m like, “You know what, ditch this. There’s no way I need to put any more effort into this. It’s totally not worth it.”
Turns out that paid off really well.
I’m perfectly happy wearing my flat slippers or sports shoes and walking around the place. They give me the kind of confidence that heels never could have given. I don’t have to think about them. I don’t have to focus on them. And I can walk around and run around with my full joyful force and energy. The freedom that came with shunning those heels, it made me question other things.
What else was I doing that made me uncomfortable, just so I could meet some weird beauty standards?
Makeup was the first thing to go after that. *laughs*
Let me be clear, I have absolutely nothing against makeup. I have friends who wear makeup very beautifully. It’s kind of like an art, the way they manage to wear their makeup.
It’s an art, but it also requires a lot of discipline. At the end of the day, you need to make a lot of effort to clean all those layers, the foundation, lipstick, etc, etc. I do not have the patience for that kind of discipline.
So even though I admire makeup on other people’s faces, I personally just don’t feel like using it because for me, it doesn’t bring any joy. And it’s way too inconvenient.
Heels, makeup, waxing, coating my greys, I don’t bother with any of these things. I don’t have anything against these practices at all. If they bring you joy, if they make you genuinely happy, then you should totally go for it.
What I have a problem with is when these practices are turned into forced beauty standards and societal norms.
When women are made to feel like they must wear makeup, they must use heels, they must have clean, smooth skin, they should never show their gray hair. When they’re made to feel like they are not beautiful, when they’re made to feel like they shouldn’t be confident if they don’t meet up to these beauty standards. That’s when I have a problem with these practices.
As I’ve grown older I’ve learned to prioritize my comfort over everything else more and more.
Oh yeah, of course I like to look good. I like to look cool. But by whose standards? Definitely not by some preset patriarchal standards. I want to look good on my own terms.
If it boils down to choosing between an option where I’m extremely comfortable and also look good. And an option where I’m a little uncomfortable, but probably look a little better. I will always choose the option which makes me comfortable, which makes me more free, which makes me more relaxed. I will always always prioritize that option.
This has given me a kind of freedom that’s hard to describe if you haven’t experienced it for yourself. It ignites this inner joy and light which creates a beauty that cannot be replicated. Cannot be created by external factors.
So, try this out. Spend some time today contemplating on what practices you follow in your regular life. Which of these make you truly happy, joyful and make you feel like you want to do them? And which practices feel like a chore, feel like a burden? Feel like, “Oh, I have to do it. That’s why I’m doing this.”
Whatever makes you uncomfortable. Whatever makes you unhappy. Ditch it.
Let it go. You don’t need it. Instead, focus on what brings you joy. Focus on things that make you happy, and you will automatically be a cheerful, beautiful, joyful person.
This is only the first step. The outer layer, if you will. Once you say, “Hmm, what is this nonsense about, this is the way I’m supposed to look? I’m not gonna follow these rules.” You will start questioning other things. You will start wondering, what behaviours does society expect out of you, and how do those restrict you?
What dreams are you stopping yourself from following because of societal norms and constructs?
There are so many things if you keep digging deep, there is so much that you can break free from. Just beginning this process of questioning will help you break free of a lot ofunnecessary rules and unnecessary norms.
Once you start shedding these rules, you can think more freely, you can speak more freely, and you can act the way you want to act. You can be the way you want to be.
Once you stop caring about these rules and regulations and these opinions of others, once you don’t let them control you or bother you, or change the way you live your life, you can allow your true, authentic self to shine out into the world and bring your unique light and joy out into the world.
Truly, who are you? Sit down and think about this. And ask yourself, how often do you allow your true authentic self to come out into the world? How many people have you allowed to see who you truly are?
With this contemplation comes a lot of freedom.
This whole process, it’s not just about us feeling good, us feeling free to be us. It’s also about allowing others, other women in particular, to be themselves. To be free. To be who they are.
When we create this safe non judgmental place for each other, we can lift each other up. It serves us, it serves others, and it serves the whole world, uplifting its energy completely.
What do you want out of life? How do you want to be?
Do you want long hair? Do you want to shave your head? Do you want to dress traditionally? Do you want to dress daringly? Do you want to be child free? Do you want to have children? Do you want to be married? Do you want to stay single? Do you want to be a homemaker? Do you want to be an entrepreneur?
What ever it is you want to be, whatever it is you want to do, it is completely, hundred percent, your choice.
When we let our authentic true selves shine out in to the world, we give others permission to do the same. We create an inspiration for them to feel safe to shine their true selves out into the world too.
And together, we can create a beautiful, joyful, free, safe space to be ourselves. And together, we can smash, patriarchal rules, norms and beauty standards.
If you enjoyed this episode of The Feel Good Factor, or if you’ve been listening to all the other episodes and have been enjoying them, I would really appreciate a rating or review on your preferred podcast app.
When you rate and review the show, other people who resonate with the same message can find it more easily.
And if you’d like to connect with me and share your thoughts, your feelings about any of my podcast episodes. Or if you’d like to talk to me about any topics that you’d like me to cover on my podcast, connect with me on Instagram at Veganosaurus.
Thank you so very much for listening to this episode of The Feel Good Factor. I’m Susmitha Veganosaurus. And I’m so glad you could join me today. Bye.
Transcribed by Otter.